McCubano.

McDonald's Cubano. On the menu: Slightly Happy Meals, McPork burgers, McRice and Beans, and rum.™

When you visit Cuba for the first time, you realize how we, inhabitants of the richer parts of North America, have been catered to everywhere we go! Even in Paris, my hotel was right across a quaint bakery called Le Figaro, where they served moist and delicious pastries. Right next to it was a McDonald's.

As I realized how expensive London was, and after being ravenously hungry and slightly desperate, as the bananas I'd purchased at the nearby Tesco weren't quite satisfying me, I found a KFC.

In Cancun, after several days of drinking watery coffee in my hotel, like an oasis in the desert, I came across a Starbucks for my much needed dose of triple venti latte.

In Cuba, you will find none of this.

You will see no American restaurant franchise, whatsoever. You will never go by a giant billboard with any kind of advertising. However, if you are to step out of the boundaries of the tourist zoo, you will see quite an array of political propaganda.

More after the jump...

The Road to Paradise.

 

Gisèle, the peahen. Never too far from the cocktails.

In the beginning, I brought notebooks with me. I had this idea, this grand plan of writing about my observations. I imagined myself having deep, philosophical thoughts, but all I could scribble were things like:

Those fucking roosters. If I hear another one, I swear! 

I ate pork again today.

It's funny how sometimes the (I never finished that one)

 trip #45 to the washroom. FML! I am now officially and utterly out of all bodily fluids. I may die in a foreign country.

Those pigs! If I hear another one, I swear!

It didn't taste good, therefore it didn't digest well.

HOT. HOT. HOT. HAWT. 

Two words. Poofy hair. 

Cockroaches and no one bats an eyelash! 
I. Don't. Want. To. Eat. Any. More. Pork.
I can drink the tap water!
Oye bici!
I love him so much.
Beer for a buck!!
I shouldn't drink the tap water. 
Trip #46 to the washroom today. I think I may have already died and this is a crappy afterlife. No pun intended.

Therefore, I've decided to start from scratch, or from memory rather. I'd like to tell you about how my life changed completely in the span of one year. I don't promise you it'll be in order, since anyway, it's been nothing but chaos here! Maybe with bits and pieces of how this all came to be, in between.

More after the jump...