Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Depiction of Shelby at the airport.

I've known Shelby since we were gawky teenagers with a vast collection of ripped jeans and Doc Martens. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that when she gets upset, it's pretty much like a volcano. Hot lava will start to spew high and low, completely out of control, until being close to self-destruction. She'll regurgitate all over you, all over everyone, and even all over herself. It's just one messy projectile vomit of anger.

She was clutching on to the luggage cart and staring at the screen, paralyzed by shock. I could tell that the hot lava was just bubbling and would soon burst. I went to see a travel rep and soon enough the mystery was solved. We were supposed to leave the next day. We had checked out for nothing.

I informed her of what I had just learned and her face turned from fearful to the way evil clowns smirk, when they're about to strangle someone in a horror movie.

Oh, fuck. Not this again!

"Oh, well, look at you!" she snapped.

I stood there, silent, while she looked at me.

"You're always right! Always fucking right! Well, fuck you! Faaaaaaaack youuuuuuu-hooo-hoo!",

 and her anger turned to sobbing. At first it was comprensible with a lot of the 'fuck' word and 'you' and it turned to gibberish or some long-forgotten tongue with,

"I can't fam I am not blurgh WHY again NO florg smark never, EVER, waaaaaaaaah!"


Her head began to twitch and little bits of spit spurted from her mouth like misty confetti. I didn't know if she was going to have a seizure or her skin pigmentation would eventually turn green, and she would burst out of her clothes and start banging shit.

I walked away and went outside.

I turned to look at her through the sliding doors. She was still inside the terminal and had whipped out her precious papers and was carefully inspecting them. This could take a while.

 I was ecstatic! This meant we could go back. I wanted to go back now! I really hoped her episode wouldn't last too long. It was taking long. She was still reading her damn papers! It wasn't the dead sea scrolls for heaven's sake! Come on!

More after the jump...

I was going to post a picture of an evil clown but I don't want to cause nightmares (plus they scare the crap out of me), so here's one of my favourite flowers instead.

I marched back inside and before she could utter a word, I declared,

"Listen! RELAX! It's not the end of the world! We'll just go back to the hotel and check back in our room. We have one more day so let's enjoy it. Now...let's find a cab and go!" and without hesitation I turned back around and headed back outside.

She did follow me.

As we headed back towards the hotel, she started to ease up.

"I'm sorry I freaked out." she said softly, with despondent eyes.

"It's okay. It's kind of funny when you think about it, huh?"

She laughed "Yes, yes it is!"

"I'm glad we're going back. I didn't want to leave!"

and that's when he face turned back into evil clown and she grumbled.

"Of course not. You want to see that fucking waiter!"

Oh, man. This was going to be a long night.

We arrived back at the hotel and there he was, standing in the lobby while talking to couple. I was suddenly filled with overwhelming amounts of embarrassment. During the ride there I had been so focused on the thrill of seeing him again that I had sort of forgotten that I looked a bit idiotic at that moment.

I pulled my suitcases across the lobby and the wheels were ten times more squeaky than usual, for some reason. I just wanted to get to the front desk without him noticing me right away. I needed time to think about what I'd say.

"You're back?" I heard him say.

I smiled. I laughed.

Think, think, think!

"I told you I was coming back to Cuba soon!"

You should have kept your mouth shut. That's a whole lot of stupid, right there!

Then there was a pause and we sort of just looked around, not saying anything. My mind was racing with something to say but I blocked them from exiting my mouth. Finally I just walked over to the front desk.

"I'm sorry but why did you let us check out if we weren't leaving today?" asked a huffy Shelby to the lady behind the desk.

"Miss, it is not our business to ask why you want to leave. Sometimes the people go and want to spend time to explore outside of the resort. We don't ask questions." she answered.

A man was next to her and you could tell he was just dying to say something, in fact, the corners of his mouth were nearly trembling as he seemed to be suppressing a smile. Finally, he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"We thought maybe you went to marry some Cuban men!" and he burst into laughter.

I did find it amusing. Marry a Cuban that I just met? Ha! That's hilarious! Come on!

Why, that thought had never even crossed my mind.

I had one evening. I would finally put that damn yellow dress to good use! My future hus...

Alejandro would see me wear it, at last!


  1. Aaaaand...
    don't leave me hanging! lol
    I'm a cuban girl, I've lived here in Canada for 6 years now :)
    I enjoyed your posts, love your writing, here I am at work and laughing like crazy!

  2. Thank-you! I'm so happy to have a Cuban reader! I hope you'll stick around as I'll be writing about my experiences off the resort soon and my introduction to Cuban culture! :)

  3. Don't worry, I susbcribed! I look forward to hearing how it went and the happy ending of course!
    You have a reader in Edmonton :)